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The following column is
basically excerpts from a letter I received from a young man
who said he wanted to study budo. His comments are marked with
'>>>text<<<',
my replies are marked with' [cg]
-'.
Note that the designation
'MH' does not refer to his name or initials, but rather to a
'net handle he mentioned that he used.
I think the comments are
self-explanatory ... and in rereading them, they tell a lot
about who I am, why I teach and why I continue to study ...
[SNIPPAGE]
>>>in
the grappling styles of Japan, and have had some painful experiences
in Judo, since I was learning at the time from an incompetant
instructor. My knees have never been the same, but i still want
to learn ...<<<
[cg]
- Sorry to hear that. Sad fact, there are bad teachers out
there. I hope your experiences with one bad instructor don't
stick with you.
>>>Kwan
do, and in Shotokan Karate-do. Is religion an important focus
in your class sir? All three programs I have been involved with
were all ...<<<
[cg]
- Not particularly. Understand, I'm not anti-religion; to
me, religion has its place. In the dojo, we do discuss the
spirit to some extent, but it's not religious discussion in
terms of training. We do have discussions about religion from
time to time, like most folks, but those are conversations
between friends, off-mat, rather than instruction or 'flavoring'
in class.
>>>programs,
and I have come to the personal conclusion that I am not a christian.
Would that be a problem sir? I hope not to offend anyone ...<<<
[cg]
- Don't discount 'Christianity' because of a few hypocrites.
And don't worry about labeling yourself in any way yet. You're
too young to have to worry much about it yet..
[cg]
- I believe your relationship with the gods/God/goddess/the
universe/whatever is YOUR business and no one else's. Religion
is an integral and important part of every culture. Even atheism
is a religion, I think ... it assumes certain 'truths' and
allows no deviation from its own internal dogma. Sounds like
most religions I've had anything to do with. Take your time
and let your spirit guide you. I guess if I had to label my
beliefs, it'd be Christian-agnostic-animist. Someday I'll
explain if you're really interested. My beliefs are my own
and I've developed them over many years of personal meditation,
study and, yes, prayer. But I don't push it, wouldn't dream
of it. I don't even believe anyone else CAN follow MY path.
Each must seek his own.
>>>system
but I am tired of being told that learning how to meditate Will
open my mind to Satanic influences! Sarcastic? Yes!<<<
[cg]
- Yeah, there's some of that around. Too bad. Even in the
Christian tradition, there have been strong meditative and
ascetic aspects over the centuries. Those who condemn with
broad strokes tend to have a very narrow focus.
>>>What
I am trying to seek is a budo that I can guide my life with.
I belive in meditation and Ki energy, ...<<<
[cg]
- OK: here's the bad news. If you're looking to budo to recreate
yourself, well, maybe you need to do some soul-searching first.
Budo can enhance the spirit, can provide enormously valuable
insights and wonderful tools for self-exploration and realization,
but don't look to it to replace religion or provide any wondrous
epiphanies.
[cg]
- My thoughts: if you want a spiritual focus, talk to a priest.
If, however, you seek to learn some wonderful things about
yourself, about an ancient and exotic culture -- about the
mindset of the warrior and how to apply that to your life
today -- in other words, about the budo, then we probably
have something to offer.
[cg]
- Budo is no panacea, it is tremendously interesting, and
offers interesting ideas, but not ALL those ideas work for
everyone ...
>>>to
develop that energy and make it work for me. I am no Morhei
Ueyshiba,<<<
[cg]
- No one else is or will be! Even Ueshiba said we each have
to find our own aikido ... he found his and was damned good
at it. Each student of budo must do the same.
>>>learn
for this purpose, but I have no desire to learn this brazilian
style that is obviously another fad. I'd like to learn a classical/traditional<<<
[cg]
- Some of those folks are very good, very sincere. Some are
out for money. The popular MA media tends to glamorize the
loud and overlook the folks who slog away, doing what they
do, who do not chase fame and fortune.
>>>style
that demonstrates Ki developement, and correct beliving technique.
I feel that no matter how skilled an assailent is in a grappling
style, ...<<<
[cg]
- Ki is an interesting and elusive thing. It's -- in fact
-- a paradox. Ki permeates everything you do and experience.
It's as basic as life itself. It's NOT however, magic ...
it's a convenient metaphor for many things we do not understand
and for many things we aspire to in budo training, but don't
confuse ki with 'the Force, Luke' or for any kind of magical
or mystical power. I'll be one of the first to testify that
unusual and amazing things are possible after decades of diligent
training, however, kind of like a playful kitten, if you chase
it, it's runs away, but if you just do what you do (in this
case, train hard and be diligent) kitty'll come to you.
[cg]
- We don't talk a lot about ki as such, but it is a intrinsic
part of budo ... in terms of philosphical constructs, we tend
to talk more about aiki than about ki.
>>>mind
to overcome physical weakness, and incidentally I have a rather
large ego and I'd like to find a way to trim it down a bit.
I hope to be allowed ...<<<
[cg]
- Good luck! Toughest battle you'll ever fight.
>>>test
myself in what looks to be a fascinating dojo. I honestly belive
that if you give me a chance sir, I'll be able to improve your
dojo with my ...<<<
[cg]
- We have a good club. Fascinating? Dunno. I like it and my
students keep coming back, some of them even after moving
across the country. No secrets, just good training with good
people. The individual subsumes to the dojo. No one is a star,
all are part of a whole ... the dojo is a lot like an extended
family, in many ways. Students aspire to become, someday,
full members of the clan and personal desires are often necessarily
put aside for the good of the tribe.
>>>unending
dedication. I NEVER give up when I think I can win, but lately
I <<<
[cg]
- It's been said in many ways but the essence is this:
Never worry about winning, only concern yourself with not
losing ...
>>>genuine
budo. Before I left my shotokan club, I felt as though I had
been stuck by a lightning bolt of realization! karate was completely
wrong for me!<<<
[cg]
- Heh heh. That took me about 15 years ... no problem. Not
every budo is perfect for everyone. What we do may not be
right for you either, time and training are the only way to
tell.
>>>ranks
of the elite martial artist. I do not mean those who win tournements
and useless tropies, what I mean are those Martial artists who
have managed to, through constant practice and meditaion, TRANSEND
into another level of ...<<<
[cg]
- Remember that even those august folk fart on occasion, get
pimples on their butts, get up grumpy some days. Some smoke
and drink and some even (shudder) aren't very nice people.
They're human, the shihan, the masters of today and of old.
The difference: they realize it and keep working toward that
goal of perfection. What's the old Zen saying: Seek not to
become like the men of old, seek, rather, what they sought
...
>>>way.
The Meat of what I want to say is, I am looking for a chance
to prove myself to be a man, (I'm rather young. 18) And i want
to prove it by ...<<<
[cg]
- OK, here's more Bad News: If you want to prove yourself
to be a man, do so by living mindfully, respectfully and peacefully.
Budo will not make you a man. In some circles there is a machismo
associated with training, with being a "Martial Artist"
but sadly, that very attitude often obscures the real benefits
of training. Want to be manly? Be respecftul, friendly, helpful
(were you ever a Boy Scout? remember those 12 laws? They're
far older than the scouts, older than most organized religions.
They're good, common sense rules to live by). Pay attention
to your elders, earn their respect and seek their wisdom.
Pass YOUR hard-earned wisdom on to your juniors, and teach
your children to live well. Manage your life mindfully and
"be here, now" ...
[cg]
- I once asked Sensei what was the secret to a successful
life. He said live each day. Don't just meander through life.
He said live as if your life would be an open book to future
generations (because it will be) and live in such a way that
your descendants would be proud to have you for an ancestor.
That's the secret to being a 'real man.'
[cg]
- Budo has nothing to do with manliness. It's a tool to enhance
your life, not a magic wand to change it, recreate it or repair
it. Only you can do that.
>>>I
do not talk nearly this much in real life as I do online. I'm
actually a rather quiet fellow. Take it easy.<<<
[cg]
- You too. I don't know if you'll like my answers. I don't
know if what I do would have any meaning for you ultimately.
However, if, after reading what I have to say, you still wish
to see what and how we do, please contact me to arrange a
visit.
[cg]
- Good luck and take care of yourself.
Note: I have not
heard from him since ... I hope he finds what he seeks, but
I don't think that what he thinks he seeks is what he really
wants to find.
cg
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